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E3 2005 Preview - 05/10/05 - Staff Dead Mountaineer Hotel (PC) Title lameness rating: 7 Sidney: Did they name this hotel "Dead Mountaineer Hotel" or did it just acquire that nickname through years of unfortunate incidents. Andrew: I think it's pretty obvious that the name came later, jesus. That's like asking if someone built a house with the intention of it being haunted. Sidney: I hope the dead mountaineer thing is the setup for the game and not some sort of big plot twist because if so they sort of blew their wad a little early. Either way, why would the hotel get that name? Wouldn't the mountaineers probably die on the actual mountain? D1RT (PC, PS2) Title lameness rating: 8 Andrew: Driv3r made the list last year but at least that was the third game in the series. This is just mind boggling. Sidney: If they're trying to make the point that this game is the first in the "Dirt" series I don't think they needed to bother. S.M.E.R.S.H. (PC) Title lameness rating: 9 Sidney: What the fuck? Acronyms only work if they spell out some clever word. "Smersh" sounds like the act of pushing something through a cheese grater. Andrew: It's a real acronym, it was some secret agency in Soviet Russia. Sidney: "MOUT" was a real acronym too but it still made a shitty game. Gumby vs. the Astrobots (GBA) Title lameness rating: 8 Andrew: So it's a generic platformer where you play as Gumby and... jump on things? Shoot them? Roll over them? Oh, who cares. Sidney: I don't know if the "Astrobots" are an established foe in the Gumby universe, or if this some sort of synergistic crossover title between two franchises, or if the Astrobots are monsters specifically created for this game. None of the choices are particularly appealing. Andrew: I think my biggest problem is that having a character like Gumby fight things is like making a Mr. Rogers vs. Big Bird game. Not that I ever watched the Gumby show but this is probably raping someone's childhood. Interview with a Made Man (PS2, Xbox) by F4G Software Title lameness rating: 1 (10) Andrew: What's so bad about this title, it's... oh god, you have got to be kidding me. Sidney: No, it's completely real, I double checked. It stands for "Funds For Games" or something like that. Andrew: My brain has pretty much developed an automatic leetspeak filter so this is easily the worst name for a company I have ever heard. I hope that whoever came up with that name has never had any experience with the internet whatsoever. Sidney: When I see that title I simply cannot force myself to think "eff for gee" when there is such an obvious monosyllabic word there. What a bunch of fags. Andrew: Jesus, and I was trying to avoid actually pointing it out. Thanks a lot. Page 1 || Page 2 || Page 3