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E3 2005 Preview - 05/10/05 - Staff Singles 2: Triple Trouble (PC) Title lameness rating: 4 Sidney: I sort of think I understand what they are saying here but this title is just terrible. Andrew: Even though the developers are from some undernourished eastern European country they still live in a society of rules. One of those rules is that when your game is #2 in a series the subtitle needs to have "Double" in it. Add in the fact that "Double Trouble" is a perfect rhyme and this is just sheer ineptitude. Operation: Matriarchy (PC) Title lameness rating: 6 Andrew: I'm not ashamed to admit that I have no idea what the fuck this game could possibly be about. Sidney: I hope it's not actually a game about women trying to establish matriarchal rule because, let's be honest, us men could just beat the shit out of them. Andrew: I don't think computers are powerful enough to simulate female forms of combat. Can the Havok engine handle hateful rumors and innuendo? Hard to be God (PC) Title lameness rating: 5 Andrew: Can God make a task so complex that even He finds it difficult? Sidney: Didn't you ever play Black and White? God in that game can barely keep a giant cow from shitting all over people's houses. Bratz Rock Angelz (GBA, PC, PS2) Title lameness rating: 7 Andrew: This is pretty much the only really stupidly named "urban" game on the docket this year. Maybe it means that the hip hop gaming craze is finally coming to an end. Sidney: Maybe with less hip hop games being made the publishers have to pack in that urban- urbanness? Whatever. Maybe they have to cram it in there more tightly. This game has not one but two zees replacing esses. Andrew: I think you mean "zed". Sidney: Fuck you white bread, go back to Canada. Down on the street we say "zee". Actually we don't really discuss the alphabet that much at all. Thesis (PC, Next-Gen) Title lameness rating: 7 Andrew: I was debating between this and "Huxley" because both are vaguely academic words that are only weird if you have something to associate them with. I chose "Thesis" because unlike George Orwell, Aldous Huxley never became synonymous with certain chilling aspects of our society, like children having sex. Sidney: Maybe it's so grad students can come in on a Monday morning and say "boy, I sure stayed up late working on my THESIS!" and snicker knowingly. Then later they can cry when they remember that no woman will ever love them. Page 1 || Page 2 || Page 3